Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
