Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
