I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
