its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
