shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
