was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
