i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
