Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
