Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
