i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
