She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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