It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
