dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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