is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
