You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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