i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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