I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
