My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
