i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
