Your tits are I can't wait for
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
