My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
