isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dick very happy bro
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
