i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
