Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
