Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
