remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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