6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
