Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
