is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
