she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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