i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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