i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
