how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
