So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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