Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
