I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
