6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
