Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
