Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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