No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
