I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
