Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
