Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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