put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
