I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
