you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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