started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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