i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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