Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do herpes really smell.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
