Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
